Mathematical Loneliness

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

(Adapted from an anonymous author... with due credits to him/her... i only take the credit of discovering it :))

Experience therapy

Since the past few days I was a bit depressed about things around me. There was a sudden loss of sense of purpose and the motivation to do anything that I had previously, very willingly persuaded. I was sad about the way I was conducting life. Nothing had really turned out the way I had hoped.
I wasn’t happy to be a student at 24. I felt I was wasting life by not contributing anything to the world and only being a taker at this grown up age. People feel differently about themselves at this juncture. I was not convinced about mine.
Amidst all this, three things happened – a psychoanalytic test, a conversation and a book.
The test was called career anchors. It was meant to identify what anchors you to your career, or rather what you look for in your career. Not surprising, I scored high on “challenge”. Looking at that evaluation sheet I had clearly figured the reason for my dissatisfaction with myself. I knew I was unhappy because I was missing my anchor. I knew had to find one, and soon enough.
On one occasion I was sharing my thoughts with a friend about how I felt bad that I was being so unproductive these days, and he casually says, “I feel even a lazy Sunday afternoon is productive… it produces happiness”.. well! Well! Well!
This got me thinking… yeah.. he was damn right… indeed he was!!
My Christmas gift was a lovely book from secret Santa called ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’… it is a very unique book.. something like I’ve never read before… its starts with a whirl of emotions on the first page n carries on with the same intensity all along… beautifully written.. for the first time i felt that the author is someone much bigger than a common man. He has expressed such difficult thoughts so candidly. I reached the brim at every page..
The book taught me the right thing at the right time. I wanted to be happy and was chasing material accomplishments for that. I had left my previous job because, despite a posh life, it was not enjoyable. Maybe, I needed something else to keep me happy. And that something was spirituality. And that spirituality was my anchor.
Spirituality brings content.
It is a new feeling… and its serene.. its peaceful and calm.
I feel I have suddenly stopped, after chasing my shadow for years. I have gained sense.
I am much happier since the day I realized it. I want to cherish what I have got and value my relationships. I want to stop and feel what I have rather than chase what I don’t.
I am here to live my moment and not long for it. I have learnt to let go.
I have learnt to experience life.

Lonely

When I set out on this journey, I was only,

Breaking free of bonds that chained my flight,

When I walked the path I chose, I was lonely,

I wanted speed, I wanted height.

Fleeting through an un-ventured lane,

For choice, for peace, I flew an independent mile,

Looking back at it again,

I have been lonely all the while…